Today marks 10 years since I had my miscarriage. I don’t talk about it much but I still remember. My baby would have been 10 this year. September 4th was my due date. I believe in my heart it was a boy. I didn’t have any morning sickness only cravings and joy in my heart. My husband and I at that point had been trying to have a child since we were married with no success. But God.. finally we were pregnant and planning for our future family.
I still remember going to the doctor’s office to hear the heartbeat and my first checkup. I went alone that day because my husband had to work. I had the ultrasound and I can still see the nurses face as if something was wrong. I didn’t hear a heartbeat but I was praying for the best. I stayed positive. I got dressed and went to talk to the doctor and he began to tell me there was no heartbeat and to prepare for a miscarriage. How can this be? Why did God let this happen? How was I going to tell my husband. I experienced all kinds of emotions. I tried to think positive and hold it together. I can’t remember anything after that I just went numb.
Later that night I started having contractions. It was excruciating pain. I was in labor but I was having a miscarriage. I can remember going to the bathroom and then it happened, my baby came out. And…I flushed. At the moment I felt like I flushed my hope, dreams and future down the drain forever.
As I reflect back on this chapter in my life, I am grateful to know that this wasn’t the end of my story. Today I have 2 beautiful girls and a testimony of what God can do! If you have experienced a miscarriage, I encourage you to tell your story and help someone else find healing and peace through their journey.